Anywho... Unfortunately at the time it wasn't all good news. Because of the date of my last period and how the amniotic sac was measuring... Our doctor was slightly concerned that she couldn't see the baby. She said that there was a chance that it was still just too early to see the baby... OR there was a chance that it was an ectopic pregnancy (basically a complication in our pregnancy). If that was the case... It would be life threatening for me and we wouldn't be able to keep the baby.
Thomas and I have gotten into the habit of trying to really connect with God; to see and appreciate His presence in our everyday lives. I don't think many people know this... But we almost didn't get the apartment that we're living in right now. We got a phone call from the property manager saying that our application was approved... but with a cosigner (since we're first time renters). And this cosigner had to already be a resident in the state of WA. Thomas and I were doing this big move to finally spread our wings and give our shot at truly being independent. We didn't want to start this new chapter off having to be such a heavy burden on someone. So, I asked if she could see if we could get approved with first and last months rent. That phone call was on a Friday afternoon, so she said she wouldn't be able to have an answer for me until Monday. So... we waited. Over the weekend we prayed that God would do what was right for us (we try say those types of prayers... rather than asking for what we want specifically). If this was the right time for us to make this transition... It would all work itself out. If not... We wouldn't get approved.
Well... I guess you know the outcome of the phone call that following Monday considering we're now here in the beautiful Pacific North West. Anyway... The reason for my digression... Later Monday night Thomas asked me, "Why did God scare us like that?"
After thinking about it for a bit I told thomas, "To keep us in check... To remind us "Hey! I'm helping you guys out by making all these pieces fall into place! But don't forget that you need to do your part too!" He knows we can do it... We have it in us... And He will give us everything we need to do it: the opportunities, the ideas, the strength, and support. But we need to keep putting in the work too... And stay grateful and humble."
That's how we feel right now. The past three weeks were pretty agonizing for us... It was a constant emotional roller coaster. One minute we're talking about our future with this baby, how Chloe would be such a great big sister, things we can't wait to do as a family. Only to be brought back to reality by the fact that... If we don't see the baby at the next ultrasound, or if baby isn't where he/she needs to be... Well... You know. Thomas and I prepared ourselves for the worse... while hoping and praying for the best. We knew that if we were able to keep this baby, God did it because we are ready and it's what we need in our lives.
When we really think about it, all of this couldn't have happened at a better time. It's still early enough in the pregnancy where I'm not completely useless during this move (not that Thomas really let's me do any heavy lifting anyway... I just tend to get in the way =P). So we have lots of time to settle in. Not to mention the fact that we just moved almost 3,000 miles away from practically everything and everyone we know. When baby is born (oh! by the way the due date as of now is jan. 8! Two days before Nana's birthday!) Chloe will be 16 months old. She will be old enough to kind of understand and appreciate a little sibling and they can grow up together and hopefully be really close.
We know what some people must be thinking "they have a baby already... plus they just moved... now they're going to have another one?!" But Thomas and I aren't letting ourselves be bothered by those thoughts. All we can do is run with the blessings that God has given us. We know that this means we probably won't get a good night's rest for probably the next few years (not to mention how expensive kids are) but hey! No one said being a parent was easy. What every parent does say, however, is how rewarding and what a wonderful gift parenthood is. Thomas and I are beyond grateful for all the support and encouraging words from our friends and family. And we're even more grateful for all the advice that you parents of two little kiddies have for us! We knew this was going to be an exciting new chapter... but we had no idea what God had in store for us. But then again... when do you ever really know. <3